It is no secret..

that my family is highly dysfunctional-from my brothers to my father to my mother to even me. An alcoholic of a father, druggie brothers and an indifferent mother, and an occasionally blunt and insensitive stepfather. It’s not to say that I don’t love them all. Of course I do. It’s just that they’re all quite inconsiderate sometimes. I love my mother more than one can imagine but I just wish she’d listen when I talk. I wish she’d hear the words that I’m saying. I wish she would try to understand and least keep some of the things I say to heart. Instead, she asks me the same question over and over again. I have to tell her multiple times, and it honestly sucks. I just want her to care a little more. Instead, she plays favoritism. It’s no mystery that you loves my brothers more but I love her more than I do my father and yet there is no mutual love there. I even heard her admit it to someone. How bad is that? Of course at the time I played it off as no big deal because I didn’t want to show what was wrong at the moment but it doesn’t mean that I didn’t keep it to heart. It doesn’t mean that I forgot about it. Instead, I repressed it and hoped it wouldn’t come up again but yesterday.. yesterday’s dinner just showed how much she really cared. 

My brothers and I were playing scrabble on my itouch and when it was my turn, Yuton handed it to me. Once it reached my hands, my mom told me to stop hogging the itouch. She asked me why I wasn’t sharing. For one, I just got it.Secondly, it was my itouch to begin with. If I don’t want to share, I don’t have to. It’s not as if my brothers share their things with me. It really showed how much my mom was paying attention to me. 

For the past year, I’ve been telling her I want a Hello Kitty cake because I didn’t get one for my 16th birthday. But yesterday she called me after work and told me that she was just going to get a random cake. I just.. I was really upset because she knows. She knows that I want a Hello Kitty cake and I’ve told her multiple times but she didn’t seem to care. She asked me why it was such a big deal. She just doesn’t get it. 

Sometimes I love my family to death, and other times, I can’t stand how inconsiderate they are. It just sucks.