What Have I Done?

Concert Choir 08 - 09. Forever in my Heart.

I had my choir banquet tonight. It was fun. I saw my friends for the first time in 5 days. I missed them beyond belief. I love my choir friends so much. But now that I think back, I want to cry. So much. Because over the course of the past year, I have contemplated whether or not I should join A[S]. Roger guilt tripped me and I wanted to cry. Because I honestly believe I have made the wrong decision. I love singing, I love choir but I also love swim, and polo. To ask to me to choose just one, is agony. It's not as if I don't absolutely love choir. I do. I honestly do. The thing is, I don't have time for both.

I love my A[S]/CC seniors beyond belief. Roger & Richard. You two hold such a special spot in my heart. If I could have it both ways, I would. And you know it. I will never ever find the same kind of feeling I found in M1. I will never try so hard singing just to reach that high note. I will never want a solo part as much as I have in this past year. Thank you. For teaching all that you have taught me. I appreciate it so much, and I love the both of you so much. You know how much I care about the both of you in the your yearbook messages. Thank you for so much.

Why do I keep feeling like I've made the wrong decision?

Pink has tried to console me. I just can't feel better. I don't want to give this up. I don't know why I ever would. I saw how alive they get when they sing, when they're together. Why can't I have both? Because I don't have time for it. Because I'm afraid of getting yelled at. Because I have my swim legacy to carry on. And I don't want to let anyone down.

Thank you for trying to console me Pink. But I don't feel better.

On the bright side, I got the section award and was also voted biggest flirt along side Roger (section award) and Richard (biggest flirt.)