My Revelation

I realized that I know exactly who I am. I know exactly what type of person I am.
I try to be as honest as possible.
I can be mean, but none of it is real.
I am a nice person; that I know for a fact.
My sarcastic jokes are my way of being funny.
It's also my way to keep people away.
If you can handle it, then you'll stick around.
I run away from guys who like me.
I run away from guys I like.
I love my parents more than anything in the world.
I'm a good listener.
I'm not an idle listener.
I'm the type to give you advice, and the type that attempts to make you feel better.
Even if I have no idea how to fix things, I'd try my best.
I would never intentionally hurt anyone.
I have my own opinion about pretty much everything.
I'm family oriented.
I'm an anal perfectionist.
I'm creative.
I have writer's block often.
I'm mature beyond my years.
I'm often at a loss for words.
I don't care what people think of me.
That is unless they're people who I thought were my friends.
I know that I'm in no position to judge anyone.
I know what I want to be when I grow up, but I'm too afraid to say it.
I bite off more than I can chew.
When I'm annoyed, I hate stupid people.
When I'm annoyed, I take it out on others.
I don't smile often.
I'm afraid of losing people.
I miss the good ol' days.
I miss middle school.
I miss when I didn't have to choose between swim and singing.
I miss when I didn't have to decide where to go to college.
I miss when I didn't have to decide whether or not I should take Calculus AP.

Most of all, I'm afraid.
But I like to put up a front.

I used to be happier. 


Maybe I don't know exactly who I am. Maybe I do.
Maybe I don't know what exactly what I want. Maybe I do.


But one day, my heart will smile again.


Edit: Grey, I miss who you used to be.