I'll take the pain to see you smile.

So he has a dilemma. He has to choose between us and them. I really wish he didn't. But it seems we just don't get along with them. He shouldn't have to go through all this you know. He doesn't need it. I realized today that.. we're not the ones he wants to be around, but he knows we're the ones he should be around. Only two people know the real meaning behind that line. It's needless to say that perhaps in a sense i'm 'cutting him loose' as Jie would say. And she said that if I am, I should make it about him. Not about me. Not about anyone else. And she's right. And I'm doing it for him. Because I want to see him smile again. I want to hear him laugh again.. Even if I'm not there. I want him to make his own decisons, live his own life. I was there to put the pieces together, but perhaps, my job here is done. It's time to move on in a sense. But can you ever truly move on from a friend? I doubt so. But people have proved me wrong. Perhaps now, he'll lead a happier life, but if for any reason, he needs me, i'll be there. I know him. He'll do just fine with or without me. I believe that.. I have to do this. Because I'd much rather be the one to get hurt than to ever to see him upset. I say this because I know I'm stronger. I'll live. I'll make it through. But I don't know how much of this he can take. He has a lot of growing up and learning to do. And when he learns what needs to be learned, he'll be a fine young man. He'll be an amazing person. You know why? Because he knows how to feel emotion. He's begun to learn how to read a person. He'll be a lady killer. He'll bring smiles to the people around him. He'll be happy. I'll stick with what I have always believed. He deserves all the happiness in the world, because seeing him go through this is pure hell... knowing I can't do anything about it.


You're an amazing person, and you'll do just fine without me.
Maybe I'll leave, maybe I won't.
We'll have to wait and see.