Graduation is fast approaching. With graduation, it always hits 'em hard, and overwhelming emotions take over the graduates. It's no secret that people's infos are filled with heartfelt fears, and hopes and dreams. Well, here's to life and all the great wonders.
So yesterday Lily told me her boyfriend wants to be in the marines as well, but she wouldn't let him. I realized something at that point. You can't hold him back from what he wants to do. It's his life. I think she should be happy that he has made a decision about his life. Only a good girlfriend would know that if he really wanted to go, the only thing she could do was support him. The pain only lasts awhile. And if you're afraid he'll get hurt, be afraid. But don't hold him back.
I believe that it's selfish to tell him that he's selfish for leaving. I believe you'd be selfish just by telling him that you need him here. You'd be selfish to tell him not to go. So the most you can do, is let him go. He'll come back. He'll write. He's not leaving you. Although it's a huge transition from having him by your side every single day, to hardly seeing him, but it's necessary. Let him do what he wants to do. Let him live his life, be it with you or without you. It sounds hard and practically impossible. But it's what you've got to do.
I'm not saying I don't miss Yellow. I do. But I want him to live his life. And if he decides he wants me in his life, then so be it. It's his life, and no one could ever tell him what is right or wrong. It's all up to him.
Today was the first day of finals. I am so extremely tired. I should be working on my biology cheatsheet and studying for my english test. But I'm glad I signed on. But before we get to that. I lost two of my favorite pencils in first period because I dropped them on the floor and forgot to pick them up. I'm so used to people helping me pick things up, that I forgot to pick up my own things. Fail. I took my choir final in 2nd today. I wanted to die. I did terrible! I couldn't remember my notes or my lyrics. Note that our final was also an audition to get a chance to perform at the Seniors' graduation. Luckily, I passed and got chosen! I was happy, but I also expected it. My choir teacher was upset with me because I didn't try out for A[S] so I expected him to allow me to sing in the graduation. I'm actually really glad to be able to be a part of something special.
Choir banquet is the same night as when I return from Vegas. It turns out Aria, Alison and I are all going to Vegas on the same days. Rehearsal was fun. "Who Knows" is such an amazing song. I'm in love with it. I had to wait over half an hour for Goh to pick me up cause he was at King Taco with Elton. I don't think Wen is too happy with me considering I kept insulting him. All in good fun though.
When I got home, I took a two hour nap. When I woke up, I was more drained of energy than before. I turned on my laptop and the first thing I see is that Yellow is on. The first thing that pops into my head is "What the hell?! How can you be gone if you're always on! How do I know you're really gone!" Just as I clicked on his info, he IMed me. It really was Yellow. He was waiting to go to boot camp, but until then, he was on the computer talking to me. It was nice to talk to him. I've missed him. He was also upset at his sister, so he asked me to yell at her for him. Aw crap. My foot just fell asleep. Anyway, I asked him how everything was, and I asked about what the people were like. I can't wait to receive the first letter. I told him about finals, and everything. He asked what my plans were for after graduation. I told him about vegas, summer school and swim camp. It's going to be a busy summer. I'm finally able to go on with my day without thinking too much about him being gone. Didn't take long I suppose. Well I'm a strong girl.
Anyway, I should really start on my studying.
Currently listening to;; Disappear - Beyonce
So yesterday Lily told me her boyfriend wants to be in the marines as well, but she wouldn't let him. I realized something at that point. You can't hold him back from what he wants to do. It's his life. I think she should be happy that he has made a decision about his life. Only a good girlfriend would know that if he really wanted to go, the only thing she could do was support him. The pain only lasts awhile. And if you're afraid he'll get hurt, be afraid. But don't hold him back.
I believe that it's selfish to tell him that he's selfish for leaving. I believe you'd be selfish just by telling him that you need him here. You'd be selfish to tell him not to go. So the most you can do, is let him go. He'll come back. He'll write. He's not leaving you. Although it's a huge transition from having him by your side every single day, to hardly seeing him, but it's necessary. Let him do what he wants to do. Let him live his life, be it with you or without you. It sounds hard and practically impossible. But it's what you've got to do.
I'm not saying I don't miss Yellow. I do. But I want him to live his life. And if he decides he wants me in his life, then so be it. It's his life, and no one could ever tell him what is right or wrong. It's all up to him.
Today was the first day of finals. I am so extremely tired. I should be working on my biology cheatsheet and studying for my english test. But I'm glad I signed on. But before we get to that. I lost two of my favorite pencils in first period because I dropped them on the floor and forgot to pick them up. I'm so used to people helping me pick things up, that I forgot to pick up my own things. Fail. I took my choir final in 2nd today. I wanted to die. I did terrible! I couldn't remember my notes or my lyrics. Note that our final was also an audition to get a chance to perform at the Seniors' graduation. Luckily, I passed and got chosen! I was happy, but I also expected it. My choir teacher was upset with me because I didn't try out for A[S] so I expected him to allow me to sing in the graduation. I'm actually really glad to be able to be a part of something special.
Choir banquet is the same night as when I return from Vegas. It turns out Aria, Alison and I are all going to Vegas on the same days. Rehearsal was fun. "Who Knows" is such an amazing song. I'm in love with it. I had to wait over half an hour for Goh to pick me up cause he was at King Taco with Elton. I don't think Wen is too happy with me considering I kept insulting him. All in good fun though.
When I got home, I took a two hour nap. When I woke up, I was more drained of energy than before. I turned on my laptop and the first thing I see is that Yellow is on. The first thing that pops into my head is "What the hell?! How can you be gone if you're always on! How do I know you're really gone!" Just as I clicked on his info, he IMed me. It really was Yellow. He was waiting to go to boot camp, but until then, he was on the computer talking to me. It was nice to talk to him. I've missed him. He was also upset at his sister, so he asked me to yell at her for him. Aw crap. My foot just fell asleep. Anyway, I asked him how everything was, and I asked about what the people were like. I can't wait to receive the first letter. I told him about finals, and everything. He asked what my plans were for after graduation. I told him about vegas, summer school and swim camp. It's going to be a busy summer. I'm finally able to go on with my day without thinking too much about him being gone. Didn't take long I suppose. Well I'm a strong girl.
Anyway, I should really start on my studying.
Currently listening to;; Disappear - Beyonce
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